few things to do before the yr ends

cant believe im awake this early during break, but its good i guess, more t ime to spend :)
so, got any plan for nw yrs eve n nw yr? i got mine..
im going to portland.. yeah portland, welcome me!! lols
me going w sev ppl from church
hardly hang out w em b4, i hope evrythings gna b fine
somehow im always nervous to b around there
my attitude is just so flaw tat im ashamed being around there,  i hav to stay "ja'im" all the time, its tough!! >"<
oh if only i could control my attitude, it'd b nice~~~ :(
anw anw.. the trip is 2mr..
im going to an outlet this afternoon, need to get bday gift for nguyen
goshh hate getting bday gift, dunno wat to get = =
also, im going there w/o being invited, is wrong huh?
ohh myy, cant believe im inviting myself, shame on me?! but then im bored n need to get stuffs = =;

-Cindy-

it's fading "again"

as much as i could wish for so-called trust/faith/believe, i'm losing it again
i was about to believe in others, like rlly about to
if only it stayed longer then i'd believe in it
now it's fading, wat can i do?
it faded before, but it came to me, now it's fading again
ahh, i wonder if it truly existed
if it existed, why couldnt it stay?
ppl said "b4 u start to believe/trust in somebody, u gotta believe/trust urself"
ohh mayb its bcoz i cant even believe/trust myself
but how can i when i keep on failing myself?
would u believe/trust in sth that always disappointed u? i wouldnt!!!
mayb i didnt try hard enough, tats true.. i havent tried yet.. i shuld start..
for now, i'm not gna trust nth/nobody
i'm sorry~~~ TT.TT

-Cindy-

life is tough

hell yeah life is tough

if it's not, it'd b boring, yea?

at least tats wat i think

had a long chat this evening

1st time i let it out, the problems that been bothering me

do i feel better? not rlly

its endless, there's no relief, it'll come again eventually

but i realized im not the only troubled girl

n the only loner around

ohh yea.. LONER

it didnt come to me till a friend stated, "i always think of u as a loner"

it is true tho, thinking bout it now

its ok, i like it to b like tat

i hav my own barrier, u can try crossing it, but i cant promise anything ;)

anw, just a piece of mind that i planted in my mind

life is ALWAYS tough, if its not, its no fun, dont u think so? ;)

enjoy it while u can, eventho u hav to be a LONER

sometimes its fun to b a loner :D

-Cindy-

fall 10 is over, wat now?

I'm done w fall '10
do i get good grade? do i? do i?
i gotta wait till the 15th, but somehow i dont giv a damn bout it nomore
i'm just so tired of school
i feel like i understand yet nth went as i expected it to be
but it's over, isnt it?
whether its good or bad, it dont matter
here i am waiting for the grade :(

3 weeks break, wat shuld i do?
yeah will b busy for a week w a friend's visit, but wat beside that?
mayb goofing round seattle, eh? oregon as well, mayb
i better enjoy my break
there wont b no life for me next qtr, 3 classes + 3 labs
yeahh go ahead, just suck my life out of me = =;

let's party hard while we can!!!!! :)

-Cindy-

hatred & prayer

i havent been posting anything, hav i?
yeah been hella busy that i forgot everything..

now, i dont wna go round n round, lets go straight to the point..
hav u ever hate somebody that sometime u feel like u wna squeeze em like squeezing oranges?
or mayb roast em like those roasted porks in chntown?
or go straight to killing em? hold on, killing seems too much..
lets make em suffer first, like wat they did to u..
isnt there a phrase "treat others like how u wna b treated?"
ahhh, mayb this is wat they want..

im sorry God..
i kno You told me hatred n the thought of killing are sinful..
but i am just an ordinary human..
can You please forgive me?
no, i think they best thing I should beg You is please change their hearts n minds, let em b nice to "us," let "us" suffer no more!!!
i can bear the suffering if it's just ordinary thing, but it's too much from em..
im so tired n even SICK of em..
forgive me oh God..
please.. i dont mean to hate em.. T.T
and most importantly, please protect "her" from em, let "her" lay on You, let "her" be strong in You..
also, please dont let "him" be contaminated by em..
this is my prayer to You. Amen.

I lov u God.
I lov u m & d.

most desirous..

hiking.. day trip..
these 2 are my most desirous things to do now..
but.. i got no1 to go w..
sad life, isnt it?
or shuld i say i havent found those ppl yet..
but summer's almost over.. T.T
come come, please come.. >"<

-Cindy

same old feeling

i've been feeling tired n sick since long ago, but wat can i do?
can sb tell me?
n now this feeling is getting worse n worse..
im just tired..
i kno there r so many great things out there..
but are they made for me to enjoy?
i miss my friends..
i miss my old time..
everything seems so new since i came back..
n i cant seem to fit in..
they are not made for me..
we are different.. is there anyone who think the same way as me? who likes the same thing as me?
i've been searching n searching, but cant find it..
can "u" just come to me coz im tired of looking?
plus, i feel the burden.. its heavier.. which makes me feel more tired, or even exhausted..

i wanna run away, but my feet cant be moved.. they're stuck here..
wat shuld i do then? keep on looking for "them?" or just try to fit in?

-Cindy

Super Buffet, Northgate-Seattle

i changed my mind..
i'll just post watever i feel like posting.. :)

we went to Super Buffet at Northgate area..
as it is written, its buffet..
eat till u give up..

here are some picts..

sorry i ate some.. >"<

dessert time :)

smore~~~~~

i love egg tart.. yummm~~~~~

n this is wat u got after tat full meal.. T.T

there you go.. my first one.. :)

i think the food overall wasnt tat bad.. but not worth $15++ a meal.. yea it was weekend, couldnt complain.. but if i were ever starving on weekdays, i'd go again.. ;)


Super Buffet
300 NE Northgate Way
(between N 3rd Ave & N 5th Ave) Seattle, WA 98125


Some reviews:
http://www.yelp.com/biz/super-buffet-seattle

new hobby

miao...
got midterm 2mr yoo..
im done skimming thru my philo readings..
应该够了吧？hehehe..

anw anw..
i had chinese food buffet ytd w popo n decided to post it on blog..
so we gonna post food picts from the resto we've been to.. :D
lets do it then..
ohohohoho..
next post lo.. not now not now.. ;)

ahh also also..
i went hiking last sat..
so nice la.. tho i couldnt sleep soundly at night since my thigh hurt..
"w e thui pi sua ya khak sui~~~" T.T
i had fun tho..

reminder..

here i am whining, again.. haha..
i didnt go anywhere today.. amazing, dont u think?
ok i went out but only for a while.. mostly stayd home..
i had dys, nic, niel came over to prepare for the cooking contest today..
1st time i talkd to niel tat much.. happy to hav another friend.. haha..
tho i didnt get to go out, im happy.. :)
everything is ready for 2mr, will we win??
im not hoping for winning, i wanna enjoy it.. its my 1st time.. so nervous.. :p
i talkd to bim just now, found out he askd john n i out but john didnt call me..
mad mad mad.. mayb coz he doesnt hav my new number.. hmm, 可能吧。。
its ok, still got next time..
ahh, bite of seattle 2mr.. wanna goooo.. hehehe..
aiyaa, those are fun things.. i wanna whine bout bad things now..
not real bad lar, just my mom.. happy i talkd to her, but as usual, not much to say..
i wonder how my friends had so much to talk to their parents, when i hardly hav anything to say..
wat do they talk bout? i wonder...... = =?
n as always, she reminded me again.. of.. friends matter..
im grateful she cares for me but at the same time im tired of myself.. tired of my stupidity.. tired of how i got foold easily by those ppl.. shuld i just go back to my old self? stayd at the corner by myself? T.T
well, i guess, i'll feel better 2mr.. sleep always lemme forget my problem.. i lov u sleep..
好啦，我要睡觉了。。 好累。。= =zzz

grow old :)

dear blog,
I just got home, early dont u think?
its a nice day, but i got readings to do
i finishd 1 reading at shinka, n decided to do the rest at home..
i did sth amazing on the way home, u kno..
i wanna share it w somebody, but i dunno who to, im afraid that person will think im boasting..
i thot of suu, fin, cibi, nguyen, dys, nic, but im afraid, so i'll just tell u, blog.. ;)

on my way home, there's a granny walking, carrying 3 heavy bags..
she was walking so slowly.. i slowd down.. lookd at her.. thinking..
i couldnt make the right decision for a while, yeahh im indecisive.. :(
during this time, i kept looking at her.. then i walkd to her..
"do u need help with ur stuffs?"
u cant imagine how happy she was when i offerd the help..
"yess, if u had the time.."
i was smiling then took over her stuffs..
sure they were heavy but im young.. cmon.. i can do it.. :D
i was walking w her, she kept on thanking me.. now im boasting.. haha..
nah nah.. its good to offer help.. anw, she actually lived in the apt next to mine..

im grateful i helpd her..
she told me to not grow old, just stay young forever.. i wish!!
now that i think of it.. i came across the thot of my granma..
"how is she doing there?," "does anyone help her w her stuffs?"
sure i helpd several elders before, from giving up my bus seats, opening the door for them, n now carrying stuffs..
but nv did i feel this grateful..
"will there b somebody helping me when i grow old?"

-Cindy

my 1st term life..

oit oit..
been a while.. almost broke my promise.. tehehehehe..
how y'all doing?
im melting.. after those terrible days, it's finally sunny here in seattle, but then im missing those days..
gahhh.. im hot hot hot.. = =

just realized i always write whenever i feel bad..
hmm, not in purpose..
so today, w my so so mood, im writing.. hwhwhw..

ahh, i've been sick these past days..
but its my fault, blame it on me, not on the medications..
im taking medications, but also deep fried n spicy foods in the same time..
bad, eh?? hmm, but its good, temptation.. >"<
another thing is i've been skipping gym.. T,T
its ok its ok.. im going back on my routine 2mr..
so classes, then gym!! gotta go w the plan!!!!!! >:]

oh, i felt asleep in my philo class..
yeahh it is a boring class, but i usually held it..
i guess the medicine is stronger than i expected.. hope no one noticed it.. hihihihihi..

can u believe it, it's the 3rd week of 1st term.. meaning: i'll b done w 1st term next week.. :)
talking bout school.. im taking theo n philo this 1st term..
there is an indo guy in philo class..
in theo~~~ just guess~~~ i was shocked when i walkd into the class..
lotta indo in that class, like half i'd say..
i was like, "wtf!!!!"
but it's fun, it's ok.. phewwww.. there are hardship n fun in the same time.. it's still a balance life.. :)

ther r so many thins going on, but i dont hav time right now..
got my detective conan anime waiting.. n reading for my philo test 2mr..
i'll b back soon..
bye bye.. :D

-Cindy

worst day in every quarter

guess ppl wat is the worst day in every quarter?
hmm..
can u guess it?
it might b different for each of u..
for me, its the day when my grade is posted..
i admit it my grade is not the best, but it's my own fault coz i never study..
but then, whenever the grade is out, friends always ask around bout it..
why? why? why do u guys wanna kno?
mine is really bad, can u not ask?
i feel ashamed..
i wanna do as good as u guys, where 3.5 is not even enough.. where 3.8 is the lowest for u guys..
can i? ppl said i can get tat too, as long as i wanna focus, i wanna study, n.. n.. n..
where is my brain when i need it?
i think the brain is always there, it's just i never wanna use it..
where is the heart when i need it?
oh my heart, when u're still beating, can u at least focus on one important thing in my life?
right now, study is the most important thing..
i wanna focus.. can u help me please?
another 2 years to go, can i pump up my grade?
will i have enough time?
i have wasted 2.5 years with ugly grade, can i hav better grades?
i feel ashamed to talk my friends bout grade..
i feel ashamed to face my parents whenever i thot bout my grades..
i feel ashamed toward God when He already gave me this chance to study this far..
i wanna change..
i wanna focus..
will i b able to in the next 2 yrs?

I'm free like a bird~~

yay yay yay..

Spring quarter is finally over..

Sophomore year bye bye, don't think I'm gonna miss u.. :D

Finally done w my finals at 1.40 pm today..

I was the 1st one walkd out from the class.. = =

let's hope I did good..

now, Summer quarter is ahead..

can't wait for Summer..

this is my first summer in the United States, excited excited.. :)

pol is coming in 5 days, shuld i start counting down?? 

ohh, interesting story:

Got a friend walked in to the bookstore, purchasing some snacks..

him: hey, ready for the test 2mr?

me: hmm.. (im done w finals..) wat test? im done..

him: huh? dynamics, of coz..

me: huh? we just had it at 12 this afternoon, wat u talking bout?

him: oh cmon, we gonna hav it 2mr at 12, dont joke around..

me: wat? really.. we just had it this afternoon..

him: u're smiling, bet u're lying to me.. 

me: nooo.. im not laughing/smiling.. for real, we had it..

him: shoot!! then i missd it..

so.. he actually missd the test.. oh myyyy, poor guy..

but, he went to the instructor, n took the test at 6pm.. thank God.. wew .. ^^"

we gonna hav grad celebration at school 2mr for international students..

n another celebration at church on Saturday..

wew, lots of hings going on.. :D

-Cindy

a good n bad day..

hmm..
im tired..
im always tired..
dont ask me y coz im not sure either..
i've been tired all my life..

a lil bit of sharing..
got a presentation this morning for stat&prob, everything went well, thank God..
except i think i talkd to fast, but its over.. yay..
worked after that..
it was a super busy day for this time of yr, yeah thx to out big novel clearance sections..
im happy for tat tho, coz i myself got my summer reading list ready..
bad thing always happen w good things..
got 2 annoying customers, ruined my mood..
uhhhh.. annoying annoying..
life sucks when u hav to meet those kinda ppl, but also good coz u can learn from em..

good thing..
its suu's bday today..
ahhh she's 20, can u believe our lil girl is finally 20??
nyahahahha, happy for her..
but miss her so much..
wanna see her..
wanna talk to her..
huhuhuhuhuhu..
hope i can see here ASAP tho i dunno when tat'll happen..

ohh..
ci ayu n yunita left seattle today..
lets pray for their safety.. :D
see ya guys soon.. tehehehe..

im off to bed earlier tonight.. tired tired tired..

-Cindy

it was great--

gosh, time sure flies, its weekday again, n the last week of classes..
Spring is almost over, tho the weather is not here yet.. = =
anw, who cares bout tat, as long as u hav fun, its ok.. ;)

yep, i went to Yelm for a church retreat..
almost bailed out, but glad i went..
didnt expect it'd be tat good, honestly..
its tough to decide going on the retreat..
issues w faith, friendships, lonely, tiresome, everything, name it..
but eh, i did get a lot from this retreat tho..

one main thing, i've made up my mind..
i learnd bout friendship..
i learnd bout myself..
there are so many things i learnd..
thanks to God, pastors, friends, everyone around me..

yeah it was great to be around ppl, instead of hiding from them..
it was great to laugh w them, instead of laughing on ur own jokes..
it was great to talk n listen to them, instead of sitting in the corner by urself..
it was actually great just to sit by them, instead of sitting by urself..
it was also great to eat w em, instead of having ur meals by urself everytime..
it was great, it was great, it was great, when u actually kno there are ppl out there who actually care for u, altho u kept on pushing em away..

-Cindy

blah.. blah.. blah..

hey ya.. wassup..

it's the end of May peeps..

how hav u been doing this past 5mo?

lov it so far?

me? its ok.. been so slowwwwwww lately, blame it on the weather..

its the end of May n its still freaking cold here in Seattle = ="

oh yea.. i forgot my eh blogger's id n pass so i got a new one..

i promis i'll try to update it more often..

but wat shuld i "blog" about?

my boring life? my interesting life? my friends' lives?

tehehehehe.. we'll see, i'll write watever in my mind..

n to cibi.. i'll try my best to blog more often.. ;)

tats for now..

its memorial weekend peeps..

wat u gonna do? if u havent got any, i'd suggest u to just sit ur butts down n think of the ppl u lov, altho they're gone, u kno they're alive in ur hearts.. XD

hav a nice weekend..

-Cindy :D