it's fading "again"

as much as i could wish for so-called trust/faith/believe, i'm losing it again
i was about to believe in others, like rlly about to
if only it stayed longer then i'd believe in it
now it's fading, wat can i do?
it faded before, but it came to me, now it's fading again
ahh, i wonder if it truly existed
if it existed, why couldnt it stay?
ppl said "b4 u start to believe/trust in somebody, u gotta believe/trust urself"
ohh mayb its bcoz i cant even believe/trust myself
but how can i when i keep on failing myself?
would u believe/trust in sth that always disappointed u? i wouldnt!!!
mayb i didnt try hard enough, tats true.. i havent tried yet.. i shuld start..
for now, i'm not gna trust nth/nobody
i'm sorry~~~ TT.TT

-Cindy-